Some things just aren’t done in polite society. You never ask to borrow someone else’s toothbrush. And you never ask if you can ride someone else’s bike. Unfortunately, some less-civilized soul may ask exactly this. Best be prepared to fend it off. Here are some useful responses.
The Deflection “Sure—got a helmet? Hop on the back and I’ll take you for a spin.”
The Mechanical Lie “Okay, but there’s some knocking sound coming from the engine. I need to get that looked at first.”
Mañana “Hey, how about next week after I put some new tires on? It’ll handle better then.”
Misdirection “No problem. But first, how about the (local or college sports team)? Think they’re going to make it to the playoffs this year?”
Legal Eagle “Sure. Whoops, I just remembered—my insurance lapsed yesterday. How about after I get it straightened out?”
Papers, Please “I’m still making payments. My bank says I’ve got to see a driver’s license, insurance, certificate of rider training, character references…”
Outta Time “Look at the time. I gotta go. Maybe next week.”
The Direct Approach “I’m really not comfortable letting anyone else ride my bike.”
The More Direct Approach “No.”
The Even More Direct Approach “What part of ‘No’ don’t you understand?”
Perfectly Clear “If I ever even catch you sitting on my bike, I’ll break your arm.”
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